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Inside Out

by Maya LaMacchia

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1.
Take the long walk alone ‘Cause even home isn’t home That’s where I’d prefer to go Not lined up in rows Slowly close up in a world of your own Don’t make it known
2.
My match broke in half And your fireproof back had yet to be burned Underwater, underwater They stood all around and they talked to your frown Then you returned Why bother? Why bother? I follow you down It’s much worse than burning my eyes in the light Stage fright Wake up unsurprised There’s a sick stalker who hates that you’re fine It’s showtime You’re not coming down And those bars all around are locking you up Soothsayer was right It’s much worse than the man in the moon at my side
3.
The words are loud but it’s overcrowded So you’re shouting right in my face Something about how I’m sticking out in everybody’s way We’re surely loving what you’re slowly becoming We always hoped that you might change Hooking up with who you think you’re above And coloring with every shade We’re surely loving what you’re slowly becoming We always hoped that you might change
4.
Never could be who you think they know Get up and go Tell her that you’re here to lose anyone you could abuse Knocked all around your head’s up the spout Still keeping him down Paint dripping on the floor Think it’s the color that she wore Guess you’re not needed It’s not hard for you believe it Left him to me he’ll layer cement into my head He can’t see you’ve made it clear You want him anywhere but here Guess he’s not needed (Guess you’re not needed) It’s not hard for you to believe it
5.
Walking By 01:05
You’re lost between the sides Wicked tries to break the brick: a thick infatuation Air puffed up sunset eyes that never dry And if they did you’d get standing ovations Never seen you before but you’ve been here quite a while Don’t come walking by You’re lost between the sides Wicked tries to break the brick: a thick infatuation
6.
Lullaby 01:02
Sticks get softer every day Strung out because they broke your bones the same way They’re blocking and singing And I’m still waiting for ringing Everybody wants to see you (Everybody wants to free you) Please come by (Just get high) We’ll sing you a lullaby (I’ll help you more than they could try) We will both protect you and haunt you (Obsessing ‘cause you know they don’t want you) And be there whenever you like (I’ll be here whenever you like)
7.
Sideways and crossing underneath There’s no deciding, I don’t want to leave Wish I didn’t talk, I hate where it leads
8.
Flashlight 01:12
Everything is wrapped inside that you might need People talk so much it’s hard to know who to believe And you will sacrifice the one you know is truly right The battery-dead flashlight The paperboy’s got all the stories that you need Everybody searches through the sand down by the sea I promise you belong under the same stars as me They’re everybody’s flashlight
9.
Top Tier 01:12
You’re up in the top tier And I’m walking around here like it’s fine Waiting for someone’s approval to be one They stare at each other ‘cause you can’t discover the right lines Warmed up with a fever, but I feel cold when I see her Quiet for a while ‘cause if she talks she’s never right You’re leaving it behind if it needs another try Got plenty of nothing but still fucking up something all the time Got plenty of nothing but still afraid of something all the time Trying hard to wake her but she’s still asleep hours later
10.
She stuck notes in your bright red raincoat All of them soaked Forget everyone, walk away slow, let them all go Do it now, no one cares to see And I really wish that’s how I could be
11.
Lana left ‘cause your world is in your head And there’s endless missing links to the chain that helps you think Tonight you’ll play the part and be our shining star in any sort of way Lana left ‘cause your world is in your head The wind blows, warping the window and all those things you’d never care to know You held your nose, hoping the red wine won’t flow Like all those things you don’t want them to know They’ll keep you home, you’re better left alone They’ll keep you home, you’re better left alone
12.
New Round 02:00
Making up stories inside your head And the real ones come down like a sliding sled Can’t remember them now, the snow keeps layering You’re not what you wanted, you don’t mean anything Your new kid’s gone with nowhere to go Left your old one behind about three months ago Nobody cares ‘cause you don’t tell them anything You’re not like you promised: a rock that keeps weathering Walk around your new cave every night Tell me all of the things I thought that he might Locked faces, holding places for a whole new round I waited, fever breaking like you’re coming down, down, down I’ll make up stories inside my head Ones that go and take back all the shit that I said It’s not like I wanted to ever say anything
13.
Red Hot Sky 01:25
Go home, don’t be who you are Everybody knows it’s not too hard Throw your papers and all the neighbors watch you walk on by Go home a little later, don’t have to tell them why And I still favor the broken heart maker Who walks in the red hot sky Put clothes on their hangers in the sun out to dry And I still favor the broken heart maker Who walks in the red hot sky My sunburned fingers have pain that lingers And all your wages ignoring pages like I didn’t try Go home, don’t be who you are Everybody knows it’s not too hard
14.
When you’re all away she just yells at the sun (You’ve got a way to make everyone love) And use him to light up a smoke when she’s done (The things that I can’t seem to stay away from) But she doesn’t know ‘bout the damage she’s done (But sooner or later it’s what I’ll become)
15.
Picking up the people around you And showing off the ones you seem to think look a lot like you Don’t stay too long underneath the sun (beating hard) ‘Cause you can’t fight back, body burning up (beating hard) Much too far for me to reach out to But close enough to watch and listen for any kind of clue Don’t stay too long underneath the sun (beating hard) ‘Cause you can’t fight back, body burning up (beating hard)
16.
Inside Out 00:21
Making sure everybody’s inside out And hiding away while you wait But you could come out even if they’re around And you could go anywhere you want to
17.
Red Giant 01:33
It’s true the hall is barely ever awake All the doors lock while we stay away Rain falls just to keep us at bay We all walk in and stay all day Lights off and we all huddle, you’re trouble Throw out what you buy to exist That’s my one wish A true calling that you’ll always resist ‘Cause you stay here on the waiting list She’ll come around and put my head to her fist It’ll help greatly, come and try this A red giant, yeah that’s real subtle, unlovable Throw out what you need to exist That’s my one wish Just use it all and get some more tonight While she’s asleep so you don’t have to fight Run up no one’s looking, it’ll be alright
18.
We were alone You, me, and everyone Pretend to be half drunk on the phone You got nothing to show for what you say that you know Thorns and butler filling up your mouth Well, here’s thirty-one with your crying clown Another round came through and shot you down But you’ve got it all figured out on your own Say you’re never alone (Say you’re always alone) You were never nothing, I hope you know Thorns and butler filling up your mouth With things that go unnoticed unless I’m around Every plan’s a problem ‘cause it might go wrong But you’d only stop if it takes too long Too close to think that you’re too far gone Too close to say that you’re too far gone
19.
Roots 00:34
Keep it here, keep it down I don’t want it all around Eyes are clear, guard is down Keep it that way, don’t make a sound Now you’re real, now you’ve drowned In the place that I never found I’m not here, I’m still down Pulling roots still stuck in the ground Nighttime’s ending and I’m day-bound
20.
Always Right 02:10
If you happened to recognize me I’d be surprised There’s nothing much you’d like to see, at least in the light So don’t be afraid, it’s not too bright The sky is gray and you’re always right You’re locked up but you’re not in hell Everybody tries to break your cell Can’t remember waking up Half-empty tubes and empty cups Keep all your gold in an empty bowl They’d never know Can’t find a place among you Your mouth’s a tomb, your head’s stuck inside, still alive But don’t be afraid, it’s not too bright The sky is gray and you’re always right Creeping down the staircase to see if anybody decides to leave There’s a hole, you can’t fill the space I try to patch it up everyday Thoughts drown when I talk out loud, enjoy the crowd Can’t find a place among you Your mouth’s a tomb, your head’s stuck inside, still alive But don’t be afraid, it’s not too bright The sky is gray and you’re always But don’t be afraid, it’s not too bright The sky is gray and you’re always right
21.
Please don’t fix any locks that I break I had a key but I gave it away Same room is a different place I guess everybody felt that they didn’t like you very much But I didn’t care ‘cause I was in love with the things they judged I don’t want any other escape A little dose won’t make it okay Same room is a different place Doesn’t matter much to you that it’s not the way it was But I’ll stay quiet, more than I did when I held my tongue I guess everybody felt that they didn’t like you very much But I didn’t care ‘cause I was in love with the things they judged
22.
She stuck notes in your bright red raincoat All of them soaked Forget everyone, walk away slow, let them all go Do it now, no one cares to see And I really wish that’s how I could be Come and look over here They all call you names Clashing choirs still appear and anyone can sing Skin’s all cracked Better get that banknote or he’ll be breaking your bones Walk on down, tell me I’m not able ‘Cause I’ll be straying away There’s really only one place I’d stay Do it now, no one cares to see And I really wish that’s how I could be Come and look over here They all call you names Clashing choirs still appear and anyone can sing
23.
Talk to yourself, no one’s listening But when they do your tongue keeps twisting Unspoken words that you’re sifting Those are the ones that we’re missing

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All songs written and recorded by Maya LaMacchia.
All instruments and vocals by Maya LaMacchia.

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released February 25, 2020

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Maya LaMacchia Buffalo, New York

Buffalo, NY

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